Tanya’s Score: Sh**
Rated: 14A
Starring: Stilted Fassbender, Jowl Kilmer, Why Simmons
Plot: In Norway, a serial killer hunts, kills and dismembers victims – leaving his calling card for police to find – a snowman.
Tanya’s Verdict: This movie is terrible – beginning with the main character’s name – Harry Hole (Fassbender). I am NOT kidding. The plot ambles along with an amateur clumsiness typically found in straight-to-cable fare, the acting is stilted at best and horrible at worst and several parts of the movie don’t make any sense whatsoever. There are several gruesome scenes where the camera goes in for close-ups on whatever Val Kilmer has done to his face – I could not convince my children that he was once a reasonably attractive man. And wherever his God-given face has gone, I’m assuming his acting ability has ended up in the same place – his scenes are laughable.
The Snowman has left me with more questions than answers – such as why would reasonably talented actors such as Michael Fassbender, J.K. Simmons, Chloë Savigny and Toby Jones (among others) agree to appear in this wreck of a film?
*Four score descriptions: Sh**; Okay; Good; Great