18 Effed Up Parenting Trends

Becoming a parent can bring out the inner-wacky in anybody. I’ve got to think that people had their children’s best interests at heart when they came up with some of these ideas – but full disclosure – I definitely doubt it where several of them are concerned!

While some of these questionable parenting practices have come and gone – a few of them are still making the rounds within a select circle of eager moms and dads. Continue reading to uncover 18 effed-up parenting trends. Fingers crossed that you don’t see yourselves anywhere on this list. And if you do, consider this article fair warning to wise up!

#18 Acting Cagey
I think we can all agree that fresh air is an important ingredient to ensure a healthy baby. But to the point where infants are left dangling in cages precariously attached to the exterior of high rise apartments? Apparently so – as this trend took off in the 1930s and lasted a solid 20 years before adults came to their senses and realized it was a dumb idea. Ground cages though? Now that’s a different story . . . sign me up!

#17 Spinning Out Of Control
Baby yoga sounds like a low-stress, soothing and gentle exercise geared toward mom and baby. Unfortunately nope! In this instance, baby yoga refers to swinging your infant around like a top-speed frisbee. Believers of this controversial activity claim it has health benefits for both mother and baby. But suffer one false move, and baby is likely to suffer concussion, trauma or far worse.

#16 What’s Your Poison?
Remember the good old days when parents could curb a child’s habit of thumb-sucking or nail biting simply by painting their fingertips with acetone? Well guess what?! You still can! I kid you not – a product called Thum still exists and is on the market. It is a clear-drying chemical with a bitter taste that parents can use on their kids in order to discourage the thumb-sucking or nail biting habit. The only problem is: two of its ingredients are acetone and lacquer. While accidental ingestion in small amounts of these chemicals are most likely harmless to an adult – the same cannot be stated about a toddler or child. If this is your preferable method of discouraging off putting habits in your kids, chances are they won’t remember anyway – as they will be suffering from acetone-induced brain damage!

#15 On The Pole
This proclaimed form of kiddie exercise has been stirring up some robust debate within certain circles. Children as young as seven are able to take part in kiddie pole dancing classes. Most detractors of the activity take issue with the “pole” and feel it sexualizes young girls. Yet ardent proponents of kiddie pole dancing maintain it is an excellent way for children to exercise and while a pole is involved, it has nothing to do with exotic dancing. Even so, l think my kids will stick with soccer.

#14 Supernatural Brats
The new age concept of an indigo child refers to a kid who supposedly possesses an unusual ability or trait. It is often deemed somewhat supernatural. Parents claim their indigo children “feel” differently and more powerfully; that they are born with increased levels of empathy and sensitivity and are not quite normal. Some even go so far as to claim their kids have lived many previous lives and have originated from a psychic plain. I, for one, am definitely suspicious – that the indigo label is an easy and inventive way to write off poorly behaved children. Anyone out there who is a fan of Larry David’s most recent episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm will know what I’m talking about!

#13 Attached Parenting
Popular with the all-natural birthing community, lotus birth is the term used for not cutting the umbilical cord following childbirth. Instead, babies are left tethered to their placenta which tags along in a special bowl or pouch – and the cord is allowed to naturally separate (typically taking three to ten days after birth). While seemingly new agey and new-fangled, lotus birth has actually been around since the 1970s. Advocates claim there are health benefits to not cutting the cord and also believe it eases a baby’s transition from womb to the real world. Many experts remain skeptical though – and warn that the practice is bacteria-laden and can prove harmful.

#12 Bird Feeders
Also known as kiss feeding or pre-mastication – actress Alicia Silverstone was clueless as to the viral potential of a video she posted on her blog back in 2012 which depicted her chewing up food and passing it baby-bird style to her son Bear. While it may seem gross, let’s not be too hasty in passing judgment. This feeding method is still practiced in many non-Western countries. And because it exposes babies to their mothers’ saliva, experts consider it immunity boosting. Even so – ewwwww!

#11 One Baby Double Double Please
This definitely wouldn’t fly in today’s society where most people practice caution in terms of their children’s caffeine intake. Yet back in 1962, pediatrician Walter W. Sackett Jr. published a book that recommended giving babies as young as six months old black coffee. According to Sackett Jr. this was a surefire way to prepare infants for regular eating habits. It’s also a surefire way to keep them awake all night while stunting their growth!

#10 Saucy Kids
Hot saucing a baby or child refers to the practice of placing a drop of hot sauce on their tongue in order to curb negative behaviour. Staunch advocates feel that this form of discipline is ideal as it discourages bad behaviour with only mild and harmless discomfort. Still others feel it is a barbaric form of punishment not far off from child abuse that can result in pain, suffering and humiliation. Hot saucing critics have suggested the practice may result in future issues regarding food and spice.

#9 Shame On You!
You’ll see this one on the internet and in the news every once in a while – a child misbehaves and their parent slaps a sign board on them describing their misdeeds, forcing them to advertise their transgressions to the public. I’m all for holding kids accountable for their actions – but there is a fine line between having children own up to their wrongdoings and humiliating them in public. Most parenting experts consider this unusual form of punishment emotionally damaging. The worry is that it diminishes a child’s self-esteem which may cause them to lose trust in their parents and caregivers. Shaming and discipline are two completely separate concepts that have become somewhat entangled here – and unlike other more valid forms of discipline – sign shaming is not generally productive.

#8 Got Milk? Didn’t Think So!
For approximately $50, a product called Mr. Milker can be all yours. It’s a vest with strategic cut-outs where baby bottles can be placed and fathers can kinda/sorta get the gist of this whole breastfeeding thing. Obviously a great gag gift for any father-to-be – but don’t laugh as some men actually do suffer from what is known as breastfeeding envy and go to great measures to be this involved in feeding their child!

#7 Turn Up The Heat
This one’s new to me but apparently the practice of hot housing has been around for some time. It’s a controversial form of education where parents/caregivers place extreme focus on one area of study for their young children rather than encouraging them to maintain a balance. Basically, hot housing pushes kids to learn quickly and oftentimes above and beyond what is deemed appropriate for their age. This modern concept is thought to accelerate learning – sometimes for a specific reason (as in eager parents hoping to have their child accepted into an exclusive pre-school). Blame it on competitive parenting practices or moms and dads suffering from some parental guilt – but most experts believe that hot housing causes more damage than benefit – even putting a child off learning entirely!

#6 Lose That Baby Weight
While chubby cheeks and general plumpness are often seen as signs of a healthy baby – for some weight-obsessed parents these attributes lead to them lacing their babies’ bottles with laxatives. There is no denying the fact that North American society is definitely afflicted by an epidemic of questionable and unhealthy eating habits – but for the love of God – leave the chubby little babies alone! Experts warn that limiting a baby’s diet and/or using laxatives without a health professional’s guidance is extremely dangerous behaviour!

#5 Training Up

For anyone new to the concept of training up, I’ll catch you up to speed with some actual principles of this contentious practice:

• Beating children with plastic tubing
• Hitting babies as young as six months with wooden spoons
• Being proactive by inflicting pain on children before they even disobey
• Disciplining by immersing children in cold water, putting them outside in cold weather and withholding food

The so-called Christian manual To Train Up A Child was first published in 1994. Basically a step-by-step guidebook for abuse, this book has actually been cited as the cause of death for three children in three distinct cases.

#4 Elimination Communication
The controversial practice of elimination communication (EC) involves a caregiver watching an infant for clues that they are about to pee or poop and then holding them over a toilet or potty. Also known as infant potty training, the supposed benefits to practicing EC include: it’s simple, easy, natural, saves on diapers and eventually paves the way toward smooth potty training. If you don’t care about: your carpets, floors, clothing or dignity – then definitely give it a go.

#3 The Hands-Off Approach
In this day and age of enlightenment, we all know there are ways for parents to remain firm and in control – even strict – without being stingy with love and affection. Yet in the 1920s, American psychologist John B. Watson claimed that showing a baby or child too much love and affection would negatively affect them. His verbatim suggestions included: never hugging or kissing them; and shaking hands with them in the morning. I suggest exchanging a courteous nod while changing their diaper.

#2 South Paws Begone
Since only 10% of the population are southpaws, it’s safe to say they are a minority. While the world may be better-suited for righties, by today’s standards left-handedness ain’t no big thing. Not so back in the 15th and 16th centuries – when lefties were thought to be sinister individuals. Even in the mid 1900s, left-handedness still carried a stigma as it was considered a rare perversity. It was believed that left-handed people were stubborn and rebellious. It wasn’t until the 1960s, 70s and 80s that people realized it is an inherent trait borne from an asymmetrical brain.

#1 Going to Extremes
When it comes to extreme breastfeeding, I’m not referring to breastfeeding an infant while jumping out of a plane – sorry to disappoint. Extreme breastfeeding is the term used when children continue to breastfeed after the age of two. And while still considered outside the norm, extreme breastfeeding provides many possible health benefits to both mother and baby including more time to bond, a stronger immune system and decreased allergies. I guess it’s okay so long as children are weaned by the time they are in elementary school . . . high school tops!

Sources: livescience.com, parent.com, parenting.com, aptparenting.com, babble.com, naturalbirthandbabycare.com, healthland.time.com, huffingtonpost.com, mentalfloss.com