Serving up healthy meals never seemed so complicated until I became a parent. Suddenly my heaping plate became overloaded with worry – not just about the food I was preparing – but the example I was setting, the atmosphere I was creating and the language I was using. And when it comes to kids and healthy eating – language is huge.

The “F” word gets tossed around regularly, not to mention the “P” word. But using labels like fussy and picky to describe your child’s eating habits are problematic at best and detrimental at worst which is why it’s in everyone’s best interest to bite your tongue!

According to Oakville-based nutritionist Michelle Strong (RHN), vocabulary plays an important role in creating healthy and sometimes not-so-healthy eating habits.

“When I’m working with a client, one of the first things I typically have to help them with is to change the way they think about food,” she states. “Food is often a psychological trigger for people. Individuals will refer to themselves as “bad” for eating an unhealthy treat and “good” when they stick to a nutritious regimen.”

And when it comes to stamping the fussy or picky label on a child, the negative effects of this are two-fold. Michelle explains: “When kids hear their parents refer to them as picky eaters, they may just live down to these low expectations. They may never push themselves to try anything new – and why should they? According to their parents, they are picky eaters who only like a few foods and won’t eat anything else.”

But this labelling negatively impacts a parent’s behaviour as well.

“Referring to their child as a bad eater pretty much implies that a parent has given up trying to introduce new foods into their kid’s diet,” says Michelle. “They may not even put forth the effort to try and get things back on track.”

Something else to stew over – try to avoid starting any food-related conversations where your children are concerned with the following statements:

  • Don’t bother giving her any peas – she won’t eat them.
  • Trust me, I’ve tried getting him to eat broccoli. It ain’t happening.
  • She hates potatoes.

The good news is that once you are aware of the relationship between language and food, this paves the way toward better eating habits.

Interestingly enough, many kids currently deemed picky eaters did not start off that way. Talk to enough parents and you may notice a pattern: Johnny was a great eater when he was a baby. He gobbled up everything put in front of him. Yet fast forward a few years and Johnny currently subsists on a diet of plain pasta, chicken fingers and cheese string.

So what gives?

Well many experts feel that picky eating is just another stage most babies and/or children will go through. And that when they hit this wall of fussiness, it is up to parents to see them through to the other side.

More often than not, fussiness in eating coincides with young children wanting to exert some level of independence which is perfectly normal. But rather than breathing deeply and pushing on through, many parents become overly anxious about the situation. They worry their babies aren’t getting enough vitamins; that they won’t thrive; that they will starve. And they end up accidentally encouraging the fussy behaviour.

Luckily, there are plenty of things a parent can do to counteract this fussy-eating stage which include:

  • Offering a wide variety of healthy foods.
  • Preparing foods differently. Kids don’t like cooked carrots? Then try them raw. They’re not a fan of steamed broccoli? Then stir-fry and try again.
  • Making sure kids are actually hungry at meal time by remaining flexible with eating times and avoiding excessive snacking.
  • Knowing that kids’ tastes are ever-changing. If your child gives a specific food the brush-off, wait a while and then try again.
  • Listening to your kids’ input on what they’d like to eat and encouraging them to help with meal preparation.
  • That said, not falling into the trap of catering completely to kids and their meal whims – and refraining from only serving them up their favourites. These routines leave little wiggle room in the future for broadening their mealtime horizon.
  • Preparing only one meal for the entire family. Remember, there is no such thing as kid-friendly foods and adults-only meals. Once you start on the slippery slope of serving two distinct meals, this is hard to change in the future.
  • Avoiding a mealtime power struggle. So steer clear of arguing, bribing, cajoling, begging, demanding and  punishing regarding food. Insist your child try something (this is a great first step) and if they don’t eat – don’t make a big deal out of it. Remember, it’s okay for kids to be hungry from time to time.
  • Not taking your child’s refusal to eat or try something new personally. It does not mean you are a failure as a parent or that your child is evil.
  • And most importantly, not giving up. Take a deep breath, remain calm and try again tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. It may require planning, organizing, time, effort and patience – but welcome to parenthood.

These are all things that as parents, we are capable of exerting some level of control over. After that, the ultimate decision as to whether or not your child will eat the meal in front of them is within their sticky fingers.

Michelle’s 11 years experience as a nutritionist has made her a stalwart believer in doing what needs to be done in order to ensure babies and children eat healthy foods.

“There is absolutely nothing wrong with hiding some grated zucchini in a muffin or whipping up a batch of tomato sauce with lots of veggies in it,” she advises. “When a baby or child eats new foods, their palettes and bodies are becoming used to the tastes, flavours and textures – whether they realize they are eating them or not.”

Keep in mind that babies and young children have more taste buds than adults. This is often why they have sensitivities when it comes to certain tastes and flavours (especially bitterness). Many experts claim it can take between seven and 15 tries before a youngster will acquire a taste for new food.

If a baby or young child exhibits some hesitancy in trying new foods, Michelle offers up a couple of strategies for stressed parents.

“It’s important to understand that it can take time for a baby’s palette to develop and get used to certain food flavours,” says Michelle. “Until then, parents can combine foods. Pair up something you know they like with something they may be more tentative about.”

Michelle also cautions parents to avoid the pitfalls of convenience foods. Things like fish crackers, store-bought muffins, chicken fingers and pasta and butter are okay once in a while but cringe-worthy when they become staples within a child’s diet.

“I realize that people are busy and many families are on the go. But still, it’s best not to get in the habit of providing food to kids because it’s easy and convenient as opposed to healthy,” says Michelle. “If your kids like to eat chicken nuggets – there are ways to prepare your own at home that will be healthier than eating fast food. If your kids like muffins, consider making your own. And if your kids like pasta, then take the time to simmer your own sauce rather than slathering them in butter.”

There is no clear science behind fussy eating being a hereditary trait. In fact, it is most likely a learned behaviour. Eating habits, good and bad, tend to be passed from parent to child largely through conversation and exposure (or lack of exposure). Keep this in mind the next time you complain about your food or pick a certain vegetable out of your meal. Know that your kids are there watching you and following your lead. So suck it up and open yourself up to new culinary experiences so your child will do the same.

If you can get your kids to try new foods, then you are well on your way toward achieving a nutritious and healthy balance when it comes to mealtime.

Chew on this: it’s never too late to broaden your child’s food horizons and encourage them to eat a healthy variety. Trying is key. Now there’s some food for thought.

*Click here for an amazing brownie recipe made with black beans and avocado.