Kindness Matters – It Truly Does

When it comes to matters of kindness, kindness matters.

It means something to us, it stays with us – much more than anything that hurts us. I put out a call – I wanted to know the kindest thing ever done for you by a stranger – and I was inundated with snippets from lives of people I know, don’t know, kind of know. The contributions sent my way overwhelmed me – they are heartwarming to say the least and in some cases – truly life changing.

Of all the submissions I received, my favourite by far is the one sent in by Kate. She was in the hospital with her newborn son – born at 24 weeks – when a man with a healthy and happy baby girl came to offer her an unexpected kindness. And if you want to find out the details – well then you’ll have to continue reading.

On a personal level – the act of kindness submitted by Irma trickles down to me. It was an unforgettable kindness offered to my grandfather – he’s gone now – but the story of the unexpected kindness and what it meant to our family – even a generation ahead continues to live on. 

People are good. See below for proof.

Tanya of Pencils and Popcans

I’m going to get the ball rolling. In an earlier post of mine, I touched upon this act of kindness bestowed upon me when I truly needed it. It was 2010 – my daughters were six and four and my son was barely a month old. I struggled with the idea of packing up the three kids and driving four hours to the city where I grew up in order to visit my parents. What with bathroom breaks, feeding schedules, diaper changes – I just wasn’t sure how the trip logistics would work out. But rather than worry – I loaded everyone up, hit the open road and hoped for the best. At the half-way point, we stopped at McDonald’s – our usual pit stop – so that I could feed my girls, hit the bathrooms and feed and change the baby. After ordering and then setting up shop at a table close to the Playplace, the older woman working the cash register brought our food over and explained to me that her manager had already given her the go ahead to give me a hand if I needed. So while she took the baby in her arms and walked around the lobby with him, I took my girls to the bathroom, got them fed and safely deposited in the play area before scarfing down my own meal. And as luck would have it, this angel of the golden arches was working the next three times we made the trip to visit my parents. And she helped me every single time.

This Lahori Mom (of thislahorimom.com)

My Nani (maternal grandmother) who practically raised me passed away at 3am. I arrived at the Karachi airport at 4am in order to board an 8am to Lahore. All the while I was sitting there with tears streaming, staring into blankness. I don’t know how I even reached the plane and boarded. 

For the entire 2 hour flight, the man sitting next to me just quietly kept replenishing my glass of water. I didn’t even see his face. I was just looking out the window all the time, silently, tears not stopping for a second. He didn’t say a word all this time. Just whispered now and then for more water to the stewardesses. I don’t know what he looked like, let alone who he was but to this day he’s always in my prayers.

Tillie* (not her real name)

In 1979, I was 16 years old and living with my Dad and brother.  My Dad had gone away (as he did most weekends) and left me at home with my 20-year-old brother – who partied all the time (drugs, booze) and I had already had to fight off one of his ‘friends’ who came into my bedroom.  I finished working my shift at Ponderosa and I was crying outside not wanting to go home . . . knowing that I would have to find something to barricade my door.

A family came outside and the Mom came over to me to ask what the problem was and after much persuading I told her. She and her family drove me to a nearby motel, paid for the room and let me have one night of sleep without worrying.  I have no idea who they were and so had no way of thanking them.

My Dad finally believed me that it wasn’t safe in the house and moved my Grandmother to live with us (of course she complained all the time about the noise levels, etc) however after that, no one tried to get into my room.

Ayesha

Someone saw me fall on my bike with my child on it because my groceries were way too heavy. They stopped their car and offered to drop my groceries home for me so that I could bike safely home.

Yasmin

I still remember something from when I was in Grade 1. It was winter and I was walking home with my older sister. There had been a lot of snow and our shortcut home was unexpectedly blocked by a mound of plowed snow. It was too high for me but really not that tall – maybe 4 feet? My sister was able to climb up and over it. I kept slipping back. It didn’t help that I had forgotten my mittens and scarf and it was freezing.  My sister was frustrated and wanted to leave me and I started crying. High school kids kept walking by. I can still see the scene in my head – me, this chubby little brown girl in an oversized snowsuit trying to climb over this not-so-tall mound of snow. It had to have been funny for any teen. But one girl stopped and helped me get over. She lent me her mittens and scarf and then she walked with me and my sister all the way home. I’m not sure why this incident has stayed with me all these years but it has.

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Myriah

This didn’t happen to me personally but I was driving along with a car in front of me that had its hazards on. Another car pulled up beside it and the guy jumped out of his car. It turns out there was a mama duck and a bunch of baby ducks. The guy stopped traffic going the other way so that they could cross safely. It made me smile.

Shannon

Whenever I see a mom struggling with her misbehaving young child this experience I had in the grocery store comes back to me.

My son was three and-a-half, my daughter was 1 and my husband was working out of town. The three of us were tired and out of sorts because of the disruption in our routine.  We usually went straight home after day care, had some play time and then supper, bath and bed. But on this day, we had doctors appointments and afterward headed to the grocery store for supplies.  It was bad from the get go. Tired, hungry kids In a grocery store is never a good combination. We were almost done when my son got upset because I said no to a treat. His behaviour started to deteriorate at a rapid pace, also triggering his sister to start fussing. I remember looking at him and pleading with my eyes while telling him to stop or we would leave. He, of course, did not stop. I felt like the whole world was watching and judging me and finding me wanting. I wanted to cry too. I pushed the cart off to the side and started to leave with both kids bawling in tow. As I approached the exit, an older lady stopped me and I felt sick. I was barely holding back my own tears of frustration and embarrassment. I thought she was going to blast me for leaving my cart of groceries and for my misbehaving child but instead she rubbed my back and said, “ You are doing the right thing. You are doing a good job. Take them home and it will be fine.”  I really did cry then but I also stood up a little straighter and walked to my car feeling a whole lot better. I brought the kids home, fed and bathed them and put them to bed. We survived without the groceries for one more day and I learned a couple of valuable lessons.  Don’t push the kids past their limits, and people aren’t always looking at you in judgement – sometimes they are looking on in support and approval.  That woman gave me the comfort and confidence I needed as a young Mom when I was feeling alone and overwhelmed.  As my kids have grown I have had to deal with all kinds of difficult moments but her kindness to me that day is the gift that keeps on giving. The memory of her encouragement has helped me when I have wanted to take the easy way out, knowing full well that it is better for me to stand my ground and be the firm Mom. I try to be that supportive lady now to the young Moms I encounter. I know it made a world of difference for me.

Nadia

Just over 10 years ago, I was in a store and the guy in front of me in line dropped a $50 bill. I told him about it and then I made a joke about how I could have really used that money. He asked me if I was a single mother and when I said that I was, he offered me $200.

Sarah

It’s pretty simple but I love it when the person in front of me in the Tim Horton’s drive thru pays for my coffee.

Caroline

Here’s a story from about 15 years ago. I was having a bad day and honestly can’t even remember what had upset me so much; but I was driving my car with tears streaming down my face.

When I stopped at a red traffic light, a vendor who was selling flowers at the intersection knocked on my car window. When I rolled down my window he told me that the man in the car behind had paid for a bouquet of flowers for me, and that he hoped they would cheer me up! Although I don’t remember why I was so upset that day; the kind gesture of a stranger buying me flowers to cheer me up has stayed with me.

Cathy

So many little kindnesses that I’ve appreciated along the way – doors held open when my arms are full, tall folks helping 5″4′ me stash my overhead luggage on airplanes, people asking if I’m lost when inevitably I am, cars honking and waving at me to tell me I’ve left the gas cap off, I have a flat, I’m dragging something, my liftgate is open and/or I’ve driven off with various items on my roof (I do these things often). But the one that stands out the most at the moment is when I found myself in the hell of the passport office in February with two toddlers and a newborn. I think I had number 312 or some such horrible fate. A man way in front of me watched me struggle for about 10 minutes and then gave me his much, much earlier ticket (I think he was number 20 something). I was so freaking grateful that I cried. He said he wasn’t in a rush and knew what it was like to have your hands full. What a great guy. If you’re out there – thank you again!!!

Heidi

An old man bought my kids popcorn at the mall because they sat on the bench and talked to him when he was lonely.

Carmen (of themommy365.com)

I think the kindest thing that I can remember was a stranger emptying my cart at the grocery store as I held my sleeping toddler. She put all my items on the conveyer belt so my baby wasn’t disturbed. The struggle was real and she saw it.

Hala

I was at the doctor’s office and they needed 20 dollars in cash for some kind of test. I didn’t have cash on me so the receptionist was trying to give me directions to the nearest ATM. An old man waiting for his appointment stood up and paid the 20 dollars for me! I was shocked. So was the receptionist. I tried so hard not to accept it, but he wouldn’t listen. He told me that it wouldn’t be easy to go get cash with two kids and come back. This happened 4 years ago and I still remember him so clearly.

Carrie

I was at the hospital with my kids and went to pay for parking when I realized my wallet wasn’t in my purse. A woman saw me all flustered and handed me $20 for my parking. I will never forget her kindness. I’m not sure what I would’ve done without her!

Dima

When I was 6 months pregnant, I fell down at the airport, dislocating and breaking my elbow. One of the immigration officers basically cradled me the whole time we were waiting for the ambulance to arrive. She held my arm in place and it was strenuous for her to the point she was sweating and shaking by the time they got there but she never complained and she kept encouraging me, trying to distract me from the pain. Another pair of officers handled my toddler and older child and distracted them with toys while they fetched my husband. We had no time to collect the luggage because we needed to go to the hospital so they collected it for us and kept it for two days until my husband could go get it. These were the kindest things strangers have ever done for me and I will forever be gratefull to them. God bless them.

Kristin

I will never forget the kindness of strangers on the Knysna-to-George-to-Cape town-to Amsterdam-to-Toronto immigration trip I made ON MY OWN with 4 kids under the age of 7. My husband was supposed to join us in Europe for the final leg of this very long journey but a volcano erupted in Iceland 2 weeks before which meant all the flights were booked solid and he couldn’t get a ticket. 

I had nightmares for weeks in advance of this 2 day journey. As it turned out, while I did not get any sort of assistance from airport staff or flight attendants, I was surprised so many times along the way by the kindness of strangers.

To the businessman who sat with my eldest two from Cape Town to Amsterdam and helped them unwrap their meals – thank you. 

To the well dressed man who protected my youngest when he had laid down in the middle of the boarding ramp and people were stepping over him and offered to help us when I was clearly losing my sanity – thank you.

And to the man at the end of our Amsterdam to Toronto flight who quietly offered to help us disembark and quietly disappeared when he saw my husband come forward at the airport for an emotional reunion – thank you.

I don’t actually know how I would have survived this trip without your help.

Tanya

A few years ago, I was out walking with the kids and ran into a neighbour.  I must have looked really rough and worn down!!  The next day she brought my entire family dinner with enough food for seconds and thirds.  And I mean a better dinner then I make!  Homemade breaded chicken breasts, dill carrots, roasted potatoes and salad.  It was amazing!  I will never forgot her thinking about me and giving me a break on a couple of nights of dinner-making.

Anna

Ten years ago, I was walking my dog when another dog ran out of his backyard and viciously attacked mine – ripping his chest open to the bone. A bus driver saw me from a street over, detoured his bus, pulled over and got me and my dog on board and away from the attacking dog. He then drove me to my doorstep.

Karma

Hmm – I remember reading once that if we do an experiment about mentioning 3 negative experiences and 3 positive ones, apparently it is easier to remember the negative ones. I never did that experiment but now I am trying to remember some of the nice things I have experienced and I am having trouble recalling. I blame my age.

Here’s one I remember: when my mom suffered a stroke in Mexico, the hospital she was at didn’t have a neurologist. It just so happened that a neurologist from my hometown had just arrived from an overseas trip and he came straight to the hospital to see my mom. When I asked what I could pay him, he said nothing!

Then I needed to sort out some banking stuff on my mother’s behalf but I didn’t have power of attorney and my mother was unable to talk or even remember anything. I arrived at the bank to withdraw money but didn’t know any of my mother’s PIN numbers. I talked to one of the bank executives and explained the situation. Without knowing me, he gave me a brand new bank card and set up a new PIN as well as online banking so that I could withdraw money from my mother’s account and pay for her bills.

I think this random act of kindness could have cost the executive his job.

Jodi

When I was a young backpacker, I was on the Paris metro when the train stopped at a station (not mine) and there was an announcement (I don’t speak French) and then everyone got off the train. I didn’t want to get off because I was following a specific plan in order to get to my destination. A man noticed me and helped me catch the shuttle bus and then get back into the Metro so I could continue my journey.

Natalie

When my son passed away unexpectedly, the awesome moms on a Facebook group I belong to organized a Gofundme account to raise money for his funeral and burial expenses. I’ve never met the moms who set it up and a lot of the money also came from complete strangers. This is the true meaning of kindness from strangers. The moms on that group are all the best.

Kathryn

I was at a Tim Horton’s a few months ago and there was a lady standing off to the side of the cash register talking on her phone. The woman in front of me in line paid for her own order and then moved the the second register and paid again. I discovered she was paying for the woman who was talking on her phone. Apparently, she was having trouble with her credit card and so couldn’t pay for her order. She only had the one card on her and no cash. While she was on the phone trying to sort out the problem with the card, the other woman decided to just pay for her. It wasn’t just one coffee and donut – there was a tray of coffees and a large bag of food as well. When I commented to the cashier that I thought that was really nice and that it kind of re-affirmed one’s faith in humankind, he replied that it happened more often than I probably thought.

I must admit I get excited when someone holds the door open for me or waves when I let them in line while driving. What does that say?!!!

Tanya

We were waiting for a train in Dubai. After it arrived and as soon as the doors opened, my eldest (5 at the time) got his hand stuck. A man pulled the doors so my kid’s hand could come out. I never saw this man’s face but it was so great of him.

Cassandra

Two things come to mind. First, when I was sick for over a month with a host of medical issues, a kind mama on the Facebook group I belong to went out of her way to bring me a whole bunch of frozen meals. It meant so much to me. Second, when I was traveling to Mexico alone with my 4 kids, a lady on the plane held my baby for about half of the flight.

Doris

I was standing at the train station during a heavy snowfall. The trains were delayed and it was general mayhem. Eventually the trains were cancelled and everyone who had to get to work that day let out a collective groan. One of the commuters gathered a few of us from the platform and drove us all into the city, not accepting any payment for his trouble. This is the only time I have gotten into a car with a stranger LOL!

Kate

My son was born very early – at 26 weeks. He weighed 1 and 3/4 lbs at birth. On his 2nd or 3rd day alive a man approached me in the NICU. He said “I want you to meet my daughter, if it is okay.”

His daughter was beautiful, healthy, chubby. I hated him for exactly 1 second.

He said “We are going home today. She was born early just like your son and we are going home today.” He told me it was the hardest thing he had ever gone through in his life, but that he was taking her home today. “And one day, you will take your baby home just like I am.”

I never saw that man again.

But in that moment he gave me a tiny, itsy bitsy, minuscule bit of hope when I was a in a state of despair and shock that I do not have words to describe.

I will never forget him.

And there was a moment, almost 4 months later, that I did the same for a mom that had the look of a parent who’s world was collapsing.

I can only hope that I gave her the same glimmer of hope that man gave me.

Kathy

I was at a grocery store purchasing lunch from the hot bar. I went to the checkout where there was an elderly man in front of me paying for his items. He turned around to look at me with a stoic look and I smiled and said “Good morning”. His eyes just lit up and he responded back “Good morning”. He proceeded to tell the cashier that he would like to pay for my lunch because my smile made his day. I just about cried at his happiness from such a simple thing.

Jaklyn

About three weeks after my daughter was born, I was dropping my 2-year-old son off at daycare (his first day back since his sister’s birth). He was having an unexpectedly hard time: he was crying; I was crying; the newborn was hungry – it was a disaster. Another mom at the daycare who I’d never met before brought me a tea and told me she’d been there and that he would be okay. She told me I was doing great. It was such a kind gesture. I’ll never forget her!

Tracey

I was sent to see a cardiologist emergently and he fit me in immediately. But I was upset because my daughter was doing a performance at the end of her glee camp and expected me to be there. It was the first time I had to miss one of my kids’ ‘big moments’ and I was super emotional (both worried and disappointed). The doctor offered to stay late so that I could watch her performance and then come back to see him. It was a crazy amazing and caring thing for him to offer to do. I didn’t take him up on the offer because my daughter’s performance and the doctor were cities apart and he would have been waiting a long time. But the offer to do so really moved me.

Kira

Travelling back from Antigua with a 4-year-old and 18-month-old was a challenge. It was a later flight and my youngest daughter was on my lap and fussy. While I had visions of standing in the flight attendant’s galley for a few minutes to rock her to sleep with the rest of the flight being a breeze, this was not so.  The plane was extremely cramped and the flight attendants were extremely crabby. Couple that with turbulence and the seat belt sign on almost constantly and I was in my own personal hell.

There was a man sitting across the aisle from me who I had noticed earlier. He appeared to be travelling alone and I watched as he neatly lined up his items on his tray.  I sensed that he was a nervous flyer although he didn’t show any other outward signs. He actually appeared quite calm.  As my daughter started to wail, and I almost followed suit, this kind man turned to me and asked if I’d like for him to take her for a minute.  Just like that. Not in a condescending or nasty way – just very matter of fact.  I gratefully handed her over to this stranger with tears in my eyes. He stood and walked and shushed her for a bit.  It was only for a few minutes but I was so grateful for his kindness and non-judgement in that moment. It has always stayed with me.

Syeda

At the Tim Horton’s drive thru, the car in front of me paid for my order.

Tanja

Once I was having a wonderful lunch out with my 7-year-old son at a restaurant. We were lost in each other and the engaging conversation of a mother and son without a care. My son ordered all of his favourite foods and told me story after story after story. At the end of the lunch, we asked for the bill and the server told us that the two men at the table behind us (who had already left the restaurant) had enjoyed watching us and had admired our mother-son relationship so much that they felt inspired to pay for our lunch! 

It was such a kind and affirming moment for both of us; it was 18 years ago and I’ll never forget it!

Ella

Back in the 90s, a girlfriend and I were travelling in Japan. This was before GPS and when cell phones were only used for calling people. We were in the middle of the street in the outskirts of Tokyo with our huge paper map unfolded during morning rush hour. One nice gentleman, dressed in a suit and obviously rushing to get to work, stopped and helped us.  Even though he didn’t speak a word of English and we didn’t speak any Japanese, he somehow managed to ask us where we were going. We pointed on the map and he nicely directed us to go a specific way for our own safety. To this day, we still don’t know how we figured out what he said. But we did and we were definitely thankful that he gave us the safer route to get there.

Alicia

Years ago, I was a delivery driver for a pizzeria and I had gotten a flat tire and couldn’t afford a new one so I was driving around on a spare. One night, a man came into the store and asked whose car it was. He then said he had an extra tire that would fit my car and gave it to me. I offered to pay him but he refused and said to just pass on the kindness! I think of him often and how much he helped me that day.

Sarah

Does it count when a stranger decides, in life, to be an organ donor?  And watches a newscast two days before his death, turns to his wife, and says “I hope that man gets the lungs he needs”.  

This happened to us six years ago. My husband was the man who needed the lungs. And he got them thanks to the kindness and generosity of complete strangers.

Irma

I like to call this my story because the kindness of a stranger toward my father affected me and my mother as well. My father – a Hungarian fleeing from Romania after the war – worked in Austria for 2 years before immigrating to Canada. He left my mother behind, who was pregnant with me, in order to work on a relative’s farm. The plan was for him to save enough money so that we could join him. However the money he was earning was withheld from him by this relative. Disillusioned and desperate, he went to a different city looking for work. A butcher at a local deli where my father shopped heard of his plight. He knew what it was like to be alone in a strange country and he wanted to help. He loaned my father the money to pay for our flight to be paid back with no interest whenever he could – no rush. If it weren’t for this man’s selfless act of kindness, my life could have been very different. I am forever grateful.

Gabi

A stranger gave my husband and me tickets for the Louvre for free; strangers gave up their seats on a train so that me, my husband and our child could sit together; strangers helped us with our luggage throughout our travels. We were so fortunate to encounter kindness and see it for its beauty.

Sanna

Years ago I had a car accident. I crashed into a bus and became unconscious. There was a lady driving behind me who saw the whole thing. She found my cell phone and called my family. I wasn’t in Canada at the time and there was no emergency service available. This stranger took my parents’ home address from the phone, helped me into her car and dropped me at my mom’s house. This was the kindest thing a stranger has ever done for me. I don’t even remember what she looked like because I was in shock and barely conscious.

Stephanie

I was on an out-of-town shopping trip and as I was arriving at an outlet, there was a full-on blizzard happening. Amidst all the snow drifts, I was trying to maneuver my car into the parking spot (anyone who knows me knows that parking is not my strongest skill – even when the weather is clear). I was having trouble – driving slowly, turning, reversing, trying again. An older man whose wife had just gone into the outlet, came over to me and told me that he’d stand by and direct me every step of the way so I could get my car into the parking spot safely, without hitting anything or anyone. I asked him if he would get behind my wheel and do it for me and he replied: “No – you need to learn to do it yourself. But I’ll be right out here and I’ll help you do it.” This poor guy stood there, directing me, getting snowed on in the freezing wind – and he helped me park.

Amy

I was on a flight with my daughter who was 10 months old at the time and it was delayed big time. We sat on the tarmac for hours – my baby was happy but I was exhausted. The man beside us offered to hold her and he kept her entertained for the entire flight. I offered to take her back and he said “no” because he “missed his grandkids and wanted to get some baby time in.” After we landed, he helped me carry my bags to the taxi. 

Ipek

When I was pregnant, an older lady at a grocery store offered me $20 as a gift for my unborn baby. I thanked her and told her to donate it to somebody in need. She was very nice.

Kriss-Ann

I’ve had a stranger pay for my groceries once. It was a bit embarrassing (I had the money however I had forgotten my wallet at home) but so kind. It prompted me to pay it forward because I wanted to pass along the kindness that had been given to me.

Laura

I recently got my car repaired. I was sick, cranky and had loads to get done. However on my way to run errands, I noticed something dragging under my car. People were waving at me, trying to tell me something was wrong. I exited the highway in tears – I wasn’t sure how far I could continue driving – or if it was even safe. I remembered there was a Jiffy Lube nearby and I got there as soon as I could. The NICEST and most amazing man not only fixed my car immediately but he didn’t expect a cent. That made me cry even more (I guess I was hormonal as I don’t cry easily). I returned the following week and dropped off some cash. I was going to drop off pizza but decided that some surprise cash would probably be more appreciated.

Elmira

Three years ago, I accidentally left my wallet at the gas station. A lady turned it into the cashier and then opened it to see if there was an address.  

I had $800 USD and about $3,000 Cdn in that wallet.  When she saw the money she asked for it back and drove it to my house.   

I really thought it was gone.

Mary

A few years ago, we were on the train coming back from a baseball game. It was bobble head giveaway day but my family didn’t get there in time to receive one. An elderly couple was seated across from my son and me. The gentleman and I started to chat about the great game we had just watched. He spoke to my son and asked about his favourite player, etc. When he reached his stop, he went into his bag and offered my son his bobble head. My son was thrilled and still mentions it to this day. Such a kind gesture.

Rebecca

I forgot my kiddo’s lunch at home and sent her to school without it. I posted on this parent’s Facebook group I belong to asking whether I should leave work to bring her a lunch or rest assured that the school would provide something.

An amazing miracle of a human being offered to bring my kiddo lunch. We had never met before then but after that, she has a special place in my heart.

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