The Beauty of Boredom – Helping Your Kids Think Outside the Screen

There will be complaints. There will be push back. There may even be tears and tantrums – beginnings are often difficult. But stick to your guns and you will make it out on the other side. I’m talking about taking all electronics away from your kids and then seeing what happens. Not as punishment and not even for very long – maybe for an hour or maybe for only 30 minutes.

Prepare yourself for the grumblings, the protests, the accusations and the anger. These are the stages that most kids will go through before they reach the final phase characterized by an inevitable chorus of “I’m bored”. But this isn’t the end – it’s the beginning. It’s the blank slate of opportunity that will have made the rocky journey all worthwhile.

See – what a lot of people haven’t yet clued in on is that boredom is brilliant. It is an amazing motivator; it is a healthy stimulus; it can be just the spark needed to ignite something bigger than we are.

In case you haven’t noticed, we are living in a world where kids (and not just kids) are glued to their devices. Where their fingers and thumbs are in constant motion. Where it is virtually impossible to walk down the street without phone in hand and/or eyes on phone. Where fidget-spinners are a necessity so that even when kids are doing nothing, their fingers are still doing something.

We are heading dangerously close to a world with no such thing as boredom – at least in the truest sense of the word. Because when all else fails, we can play Candy Crush or RollerCoaster Tycoon (I think this is what my husband is doing when I’m trying to have a conversation with him!) Gone are the days when kids dig in gardens just to watch worms in action; when they lay on the grass to look at clouds; when toddlers play I Spy with their parents instead of interacting with an iPad. And for some of us, we can even remember a time when kids sat in cars staring dreamily out the window. That’s become a distant memory now that we’ve got built-in tvs just in case the phones and tablets haven’t been properly charged.

Whether through incessant technology, over-scheduling or amped up helicopter parenting, intermittent childhood boredom is disappearing. And while this may not seem like a big deal, there is an insidious butterfly effect taking place. While we’re all busy patting ourselves on the back for teaching our kids how to multi-task and kill the pesky mosquito of boredom, we’re creating self-imposed tsunamis elsewhere. People as a species are becoming dimmer, duller and more apathetic than ever – just shuffling along with poor social skills and even worse conversational capabilities – yet our thumbs continue to move a mile a minute.

With the bombardment of technology, we are losing the quiet we are entitled to now and again. The time to mull and self-reflect and to absorb. The peaceful moment we need to come up with an idea, hatch a plan or make a serious decision. How can anyone uncover passion, feel excitement or experience true drive without first knowing a sense of stillness, quiet . . . and yes – even boredom?

Instead of constantly amusing our kids or ensuring they have technology to do the job, I’m suggesting you prescribe them some quintessential boredom. Give them a chance to figure out how to occupy themselves (without benefit of television, computer or device). Just as once upon a time, we sat rigidly in our beds and let them cry themselves to sleep without benefit of soother or bottle, it’s time to stay strong and leave them to their own devices . . . without benefit of any actual devices.

For some kids, learning to think outside the screen may be a rough road to navigate at first. Here are some ideas if you want to help them get started:

• Play a board game
• Complete a puzzle
• Teach them actual Solitaire . . . with actual cards
• Paint
• Write
• Draw
• Read
• If they are young, include them in whatever chores you are working on – cooking, laundry, yard work
• If they are old enough, ask them to walk the dog or go to the nearby grocery store for some bread and milk
• Send them outside for a walk around the block
• Provide them with an intriguing challenge – eg. an impromptu scavenger hunt or performing 25 random acts of kindness

Facing some unstructured, free time is important – it teaches kids how to prioritize and self-regulate. From there, they will become teenagers who will have the ability to independently manage themselves and eventually adults who will have the capacity to do the same.

It is the blank slate of boredom that can spark self-discovery, passion and creativity in anyone. And once our children train their brains to consider alternative routes for amusing themselves, who knows where it will lead?

So put down your phones, your tablets, your remote controls – and just for a moment, step into the void. There is beauty in boredom because of its simplicity and possibility. There is power in it as well . . . for the very same reasons.