Tanya Kuzmanovic November 26, 2021

MY FINAL POST. ENJOY.

The Family Room

I’m comfortable,I’m relaxed – and I’m enjoying my final days as much has I can. . .

Sometimes as I sit here, in my family room – I’m convinced there isn’t another room anywhere in the universe that would ever be capable of offering me the comfort that this one does. It reminds me of all that I have – when I look up on the mantle and see the smiling faces of my three; when I see my wedding photo on the side shelf – where two young, almost unrecognizable young people hold hands and beam – clueless at all the hardship that awaits at being an adult, it reminds me that I’m loved. It is warm and welcoming; the couches are soft and warm or cool and sturdy – depending on what I need at any given moment.

The windows look out over my quiet and charming and leafy street, reminding me how lucky we were to snag this house on this street before the housing prices skyrocketed. If my back screen door is open, I can sometimes hear the music playing from my neighbour’s backyard – usually something folksy; or the neighbours next to them – the husband often sings aloud – I’m not even sure he knows his neighbours can hear him – and how much I enjoy hearing this; the clink of silverware on dishes coming from other houses as families sit down and eat together. Then there’s my tv where I can watch whatever I want whenever I feel like it.

This is my beautiful, comfortable view that I drift off to every night and the one I hope will frame my favourite faces as I soon and slowly fade off to elsewhere.

One day – this room won’t exist. It will disappear – become stripped of its comforting elements – photos will go in boxes, tv will be trashed, knick-knacks passed along, sold, given away, donated; furniture deemed old fashioned and left on a curb somewhere; photo albums flicked through – maybe saved, maybe tossed away. Another family will take over, walk into this stripped-to-its-bare-bones family room and decide what they will do with it – repaint, redecorate, refurnish – or maybe tear down completely – replacing it with an entirely different room altogether.

One day – there will be no one alive who will remember this room – who will look back on it and think of the comfort and happiness it inspired. No one will know of the times we sat here as a family, cozied up on the couches under blankets, eating popcorn and watching movies or tv shows. The kids who remember coming into the family room to tell their mom about their day at school will be gone – hopefully after living long and happy lives.

Bottom’s Up!

On Monday April 26, 2021, my life changed forever when I heard the words: “You have cancer.” This blog post is the eleventh in a series entitled: Cancer Culture and revolves around my personal experience surrounding this devastating diagnosis. Unfortunately, it’s my 11th and my final post, My diagnosis has changed to an extremely rare and unforeseen one called Nut Cancer is pretty much all palliativee. So I’m spending the rare and precious time I have I have with everyone I love. Thank you all – Bless you a,,


 

42 thoughts on “The Family Room”

  1. I come to say thank you to you for being nice and kind to me, a Chinese who first came to Canada 8 years ago. I can still remember seeing you passing my window back and forth every morning when you sent the two girls to school and went back home, with the boy in the stroller and the dog ahead. I can also remember those short talks at the backyard of the school when we were waiting for picking up the girls after them finishing their school. You were like a bonfire that I felt warm when meeting and talking with you, and now I feel the same way when thinking about those moments. Thank you Tanja, thank you, it was nice meeting you.

  2. Thank you for the honesty, humour and warmth. You are already missed.
    Lia
    Class of creative writing, 1999

  3. rest in peace tanya, you were such a beautiful soul and i loved reading your writing so much and it made me smile when i thought i would never smile again. fly high and you are in everyone’s heart forever.

  4. I have loved reading your work over the years. During my own dark days you gave me hope and humour. Thinking of you beautiful family and friends today.

  5. Your Joy & Humour touched more people than you’ll ever know…you will be missed forever. xoxo

  8. Wow Tanya you have a gifted way with words, and reflecting on moments that really matter.

    The finest details, the details so many of us forget to reflect upon, in our daily lived with all the ” hustle and bustle”.

    Thanks for sharing your most intimate details. I love your writing and the way you write through your spirit; funny, quirky, sentimental, deep -your family and friends will always have so much to reflect on. Please don’t tell me this is goodbye. My beautiful friend from Australia..❤🙌

  9. I’ve been following you for years. I never subscribed because I’m an asshole. I cared about everything you had to say. I know I’m not the only one. I wish we got to know each other better. Next time.

  10. When there are times that life treats us unfairly I hope we have the dignity, strength and love to fight back with calm and acceptance such as this beautiful soul is doing now!
    Thank you for sharing.

  11. I always ask myself: why the best are leaving? They are supposed ro be always here, around us, teaching us, telling us wonderful stories, shining in this dark, angry and f…ed up world.
    Tanya, you’re not leaving, your spirit is just going elsewhere, up amongst the angels. The best ones!
    I love you and blessed to call you my friend.

  12. Hard to know what to say, sending love and strength to yourself and your beautiful family ❤️☘️

  13. Thank you Tanya for all the love laughter and life you have shared with us. Your joyful fun loving spirit is infectious and unforgettable. On that hot summers day in July so many years ago now the treasure hunt you organised for the girls is one of Aimees (and my) favourite memories of you, of Canada and the friendships that you helped to forge. There are so many days you made like that and so many people you gave the gift of your beautiful spirit. That will never fade. Until next time! xoxo

  14. I wish this wasn’t the ‘last post’. It really was an eye-opener to witness your journey through your writing. So much pain and hurt but at the same time, so much love. May your journey towards peace be soothing and your legacy carried on by your family. You should feel proud of the life, friends and family you’ve made – much to be thankful for. Prayers to you and your family….

  15. You are an inspiration to so many…more than you realize. You are a smart, funny and strong woman,mother and daughter and friend to many. There are no words to express my sadness.

  16. I have been following your journey through this blog and having never met you personally, have bonded with you. Your grace, courage and comforting ways show us all valuable lessons to learn – and your children and family must be so proud of you. Thank you, Tanya.

  18. Hi Tanya, really sorry to read your news. I was crying at your piece about the family room, it’s all so true.
    I’ve enjoyed reading your blogs, you take care and rest with your family. X

  20. So glad you got to write this one last post. I was hoping you’d do it ❤️ Tanya thank you for letting us know you are at peace and you are in a good place. Being in Australia we have found this all so hard to accept but your post has helped. You are so brave. We love you and we’ll miss you, your blogs, your facebook posts, your family calendars, your sense of humour and your love of life. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Helen, Jack and Hugo

  22. You are an inspiration. You have changed how I see my world and the future of it. Thank you. ❤️

  23. Beautiful. Thoughtful. Heartbreaking. All the things that this thing is. Life is so unfair. I send you and you family every bit of love and strength.

  24. Tanya,
    I started reading your blogs when I saw you sister in law post them on Facebook! I started reading and following as your stories and the way you write is insightful and funny. Even your posts when the big c came, showed your strength and humour in the toughest of times. I recount your story of how good a nurse is by if they flush or not!
    I don’t know you but I can tell you, you’ve touched many! My mom even follows your blog too! I think of you and your family multiple times and day. You’re amazing and strong and you’ve raised great kids.
    Much love from a stranger! Xo

  25. Tanya, this is a beautiful and fitting final post. Your writing is a gift and has always brought me so many laughs with your quick wit and this time brings me to tears. I will continue to reread your posts with fond memories of the remarkable person you are. God bless you my friend.

  27. You are remarkable in every way. I can’t imagine the heartache of accepting what you will miss, how much you will be missed and how to prepare for strength of what lies ahead. Thank you for writing about your journey. I will cherish our old friendship and our Facebook messenger friendship ☺️ Sending you hugs and love. I hope you remain to have peace and comfort in the loving home and family that surround you. ❤️❤️❤️

    1. You are remarkable in every way. I can’t imagine the heartache of accepting what you will miss, how much you will be missed and how to prepare for strength of what lies ahead. Thank you for writing about your journey. I will cherish our old friendship and our Facebook messenger friendship ☺️ Sending you hugs and love. I hope you remain to have peace and comfort in the loving home and family that surround you. ❤️❤️❤️

  28. Sending all our love Tanya. You are all in our hearts and thoughts. Xo Adam, Tabitha, Lucas and Parker

  30. So hard to find the words right now. Sending everything I have in my heart, in order to give you and your family the strength, love, courage, spirit, and fortitude to cope with your reality. You will all live in my heart forever. I promise to think of you every time I eat Taco Bell. So many prayers. May god bless you all. “Hello” my friend 💕

  32. Margaret Atwood once wrote that, in the end, we all become stories. How lucky we are that your stories written here so beautifully will stay with your family, with your friends…with all of us long after that “one day” comes and goes. If I did not say it before, let me say it now: thank you for being in my own story. However small you think that part may have been, it made a difference to me. Yasmin

    1. So hard to find the words right now. Sending everything I have in my heart, in order to give you and your family the strength, love, courage, spirit, and fortitude to cope with your reality. You will all live in my heart forever. I promise to think of you every time I eat Taco Bell. So many prayers. May god bless you all. “Hello” my friend 💕

  33. You are so loved Tanya. You are a bright light and the strongest woman I know, you have inspired and touched more lives than you are aware of. You are the epitome of the very word authentic.

    We love you beyond words.
    Love Wiley, Denise, Aliyah and Adelaide

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